How To Flirt
by nmbr1potterfan
Summary: Hermione and Ginny are sick of being single but don't know how to get male attention, what will happen when they take advice from a Slytherin?
1. Chapter 1

Hermione looked down at the food in front of her. It was turkey and mashed potatoes again, with the typical other baskets of rolls and corn. On a normal day she would have dug in hungrily as her stomach was begging her to do, but she had no appetite to accompany it.

She picked up a serving spoon solemnly and scoped herself some mashed potatoes while the same love sick song repeated in her head. It had been stuck in her head all week and she just couldn't rid herself of it. It was a muggle song called "Such Great Heights" and she hummed the chorus subconsciously as she spread the food around her plate decoratively, trying to feint the appearance of having consumed some of it.

She noticed Harry give her a sideways look of concern so she begrudgingly forked some potatoes into her mouth to avoid being questioned about her state of being.

She couldn't really place what was wrong, just that everything was too normal. She went through the same schedule everyday without deviation. Even the conversations were typical, usually revolving around school work of Quidditch. She almost wished that Voldemort would act up so that they could have another adventure.

_That was an awful thing to think._ She thought to herself as she shook her head slightly.

She looked up from her plate and caught Ron's eyes. He gave her a slight smile as he continued to devour his food and listen to Harry's "hilarious" story. It was then that she realized the real problem. _I'm lonely._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: (applies to all chapters) I do not own anything associated with Harry Potter, J.K Rowling does. Lucky girl.**

As Hermione walked to her dorm with Ginny she couldn't help but over hear the two people in front of her. It's not like she was eavesdropping, since the two girls were talking so obnoxiously loud Dumbledore could probably hear them from his office.

"Ya, so you know how I told you about last night? Well this morning he kept giving me that look, like he kept doing it all day, like when I'd see him in the halls and stuff." The one with long straight black hair was saying.

"OH my goodness he totally likes you Pans!" squealed the short brunette next to her.

"Well obviously Milli, we've known each other for a week now, I usually have them hooked by day 3" Pansy ran her fingers through her hair and then shook it over her shoulder.

The two girls continued to gossip about the boy, eventually taking a different staircase to the lower floors while Hermione and Ginny continued to ascend.

"How the bloody hell does Pansy get so many guys?" Ginny whispered once they were out of ear shot.

"Beats me, it's not like she's particularly easy on the eyes."

"I bet she gives them all love potions."

"I would certainly hope they were under some kind of influence. Poor blokes probably want to Avada themselves afterwards."

The two girls laughed a little then a silence fell between them. They walked in silence, both thinking the same thing but not voicing it. Once they had reached their dorm room they changed into their pajamas. Hermione was done first and laid flat on her back on her bed, looking up at the red canopy above it.

"You know what Gin?" She said quietly.

"What?" Ginny turned to her after putting her clothes away.

"We really need to get boyfriends." Hermione smiled.

"Ya we do. I'm defiantly not going to leave Hogwarts without having at least one boyfriend, that would be really lame." Ginny sighed and flopped on her bed across from Hermione.

"Do you like anyone?" Hermione asked. Ginny's eyes looked up in thought for a second.

"No, I don't think so." She concluded shaking her head.

"Ya, me either." Hermione said nonchalantly.

"Hermione." Ginny looked at her skeptically.

"What?" She asked with an innocent look.

"It's so obvious you fancy Ron, you can't even pretend not to." Ginny said frankly.

"Wh-what? No way! Ron and I are strictly friends, he's practically my brother!" Hermione declared, but she averted her eyes from Ginny's.

"Okay, whatever you say!" Ginny shrugged and rolled over to her pillow. "Good night!"

"…Good night." Hermione replied.

She couldn't sleep though. Her mind was far too active to be shut down for the night.

"_I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned…"_ repeated through her head and she brought her fingers to her lips in remembrance of her very first kiss with Krum. That had been so long ago, and she found herself yearning to have that kind of male affection again. Especially since she knew that Krum had dated many other girls since then, while she hadn't had another significant other yet.

She clenched her pajamas where her heart beat just inches below, hoping this hold would keep her emotional heart together.

After half an hour she couldn't take it anymore. She cursed herself for being so pathetically self pitying and threw off the covers. She had to get out of the room; she had to be some other place besides this dark lonesome one that portrayed her inner thoughts. As she walked towards the door silently, as to not wake up her room mates her stomach growled obnoxiously. She almost thought she stepped on a Hippogriff as an explanation to the bizarre sound that erupted from her. Yet she was grateful for the blatant instruction on where to go. _The kitchen._

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**A/N: Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

She snuck through the portrait of the Fat Lady and immediately dove down the hallway adjacent to it. About half way down the hall she ran her fingers along the wall until they found a stone that was pushed into the wall about and inch more than all the others.

"_lumos"_ she whispered and her wand illuminated the area so that she could see the stone clearly. With the tip of her wand she traced and equilateral triangle in the middle of the block. The rock glowed gold where her wand had touched it for an instant before the triangle protruded from the rest of the wall. Hermione grabbed the triangle door knob and pulled revealing a secret passage. She quickly stepped inside and closed the door securely behind her. She heard the scraping of rock and knew that the triangle had found its place within the wall again.

The passage was made of the same gray stone as was the corridor she was just in, and consisted of a narrow spiral stair case that seemed to go on forever. As she descended down the stairs she counted off the number of doors along the way (one for each floor) until she knew she was at the 1st level of the basement.

With the help of Harry's map and her endless knowledge about the school from Hogwarts: A History, She knew all the secret tunnels and alleyways. And she used them so often to get to and from her classes (she had at least 9 a day while others had 5) that she knew them like the back of her hand.

When she stepped out of the hidden staircase, she took a left, rounded a corner, and took another left before coming to the familiar picture of a bowl of fruit. Consequently she tickled the pear with her little finger and walked inside.

The house elves had gone to bed for the night and it was eerily quiet. She was halfway across the room when she heard a noise and froze. She crept around the refrigerators to the replica of the four dinning tables. To her surprise there was a student sitting at the Gryffindor table with their back to her. She was even more surprised to see the platinum blonde hair that belonged to only one student.

She tried to back up quietly, since she didn't really feel like arguing with anyone right now, but her elbow nicked a pan and it went crashing to the ground. She hastily picked it up and set it back on the counter with care.

"Nice going Granger." Malfoy applauded without turning around.

"Shut up Malfoy." She growled before stalking off to the refrigerator. She looked around and grabbed a bowl of left over soup from lunch. She looked at it for a bit then put it back. Deciding she was rather in the mood for dessert she went to the freezer and pulled out a gallon of chocolate chip-cookie dough ice cream. She closed the freezer and went to look for a bowl and spoon. When she had located both she turned to go back to the counter when she was stopped by the sight of Malfoy right in front of her.

"Oh!" She said in surprise as the bowl slipped from her hands and smashed into pieces on the floor.

"What the hell Malfoy! Bugger off!" Hermione said, irritated, as she muttered '_Reparo_' to the bowl before picking it up.

"Why don't you watch where you're going filth face!" Malfoy spat back.

Hermione tried not to laugh but failed.

"Filth face? That's a new one!" She laughed at him.

"At least I'm trying out new insults, how long are you going to call me Ferret? That was fourth year, get over it." Malfoy grumbled.

"Fine, I'll come up with some new ones for you, and I guarantee that they will be ten times better than Filth Face." She chuckled at his expense again.

"I'm tired, It's practically one in the morning, but when I gain complete consciousness, it's on." He challenged before swiftly exiting the kitchen.

Hermione glared after him for a second with distain. He'd never be better than her. At anything. Especially wits.

She turned back to her ice cream and scoped herself a gracious amount before taking it with her. She didn't know where she was going, but she just felt like going for a walk. She strode down the first hall, happy to have not encountered Malfoy again, and turned right.

She spent most of the walk focusing on the creamy deliciousness she was consuming and letting her feet guide the way. It wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she remembered she was breaking a school rule by being out so late. Her heart jumped into her throat.

"Out after hours now are we?" A croaky voice asked her.

"Yes, sir." Hermione candidly responded, frozen.

Filtch walked in front of her with his lamp held up to her face, making her squint.

"Well now, looks like we've got a trouble maker, eh Mrs. Norris?" He smiled crookedly at her and then the cat at his feet. The cat purred affectionately back. "Follow me."

And with that he grabbed her arm and began shuffling down the hall. She could tell that he was going to McGonagall's office and she cursed herself for being so careless. She didn't resist though since she was too petrified and knew that it wouldn't be any use anyway.

They reached the old oak door with McGonagall's name posted near the top and Filtch knocked on it so hard the corridor echoed. She flinched at the sudden sound and then felt her stomach flip when she heard the shuffle of her head of house's feet nearing the other side of the door.

An angry McGonagall answered the door, red eyed and grim faced.

"What is it?" She asked tersely.

"I caught this one out of bed after hours." Filtch said proudly forcing Hermione forwards. McGonagall sighed wearily.

"Off to the Library again Granger?" She asked.

"Nope, caught her roaming the halls!" Filtch convicted Hermione like a lawyer winning a case. McGonagall looked down at the ice cream in Hermione's hands and flustered.

"I am very disappointed in you Hermione Granger! I would never have expected! That will be 10 points from Gryffindor and two weeks detention!" McGonagall stated firmly.

"Yes, Professor." Hermione said quietly, her head down.

"Well then, could you please escort her back to her dormitory Mr. Filtch?" McGonagall dismissed.

"Of course, Mrs. McGonagall." Filtch bowed slightly and pulled Hermione away.

Once they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady Filtch released her and she quickly stammered the password before clamoring inside. Once she got to her dorm room she shot into bed and pulled the covers over herself. After she'd calmed down she felt slightly irritated. She really didn't want to serve detention, two weeks for being out late? It was ridiculous.

However, she couldn't mentally rant for long since she was very tired by that point and quickly drifted off.

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**A/N: One review so far! Keep them coming!**


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